When Rachel stepped into her role leading youth ministry at Flood Church in San Diego, she thought she was ready for anything. She had earned her Master of Divinity. She had completed an internship. She’d read the books, learned the strategies, and poured her heart into building programs.

But a year and a half in, she was burned out.

“I didn’t expect it to hit me so fast,” Rachel remembers. “I thought my training would carry me. But it turns out you can’t run on preparation alone.”

Like so many youth pastors, she was juggling too much, feeling isolated, and wondering if she could keep going. Then her mentor suggested she join a Relational Discipleship Kickstart Cohort with the Youth Cartel.

Her first thought? “I do not have time for one more thing.”

Still, she took the leap.

That decision would change everything—not just for Rachel, but for her entire church.

The Spark That Changed the Game

In the Kickstart cohort, Rachel encountered a simple but powerful truth: young people are more likely to develop a faith that lasts when the whole church champions them.

And you can’t champion someone you never see.

That insight stuck with her. At Flood, the youth ministry met in the balcony during worship on Sundays. Students worshiped from a distance—present, but invisible to most of the congregation.

Rachel decided to change that. Making students visible felt like the right first step.

She moved her students from the balcony to the first five to seven rows of the sanctuary. It was a small shift in location—but it sent a big message.

“I wanted them to see the whole church as their home, not just the youth room,” Rachel says. “Being front and center shows them they belong here—and it shows the rest of the church the same thing.”

It wasn’t an easy transition. People had “their” seats. Roping off the front rows for teenagers meant upending unspoken traditions. But over time, the congregation adjusted. Now, it’s part of the culture—students are visible, and everyone knows them by name.

Visibility Breeds Connection

That simple change opened the floodgates for relationship.

Mandi, a worship team member, began spending more time with youth. Now she regularly disciples musically-gifted teens in how to lead worship, and they lead together at youth gatherings once a quarter.

Adults who once barely knew the teens started volunteering in youth ministry—not because they felt pressured, but because they’d built connections in the sanctuary.

“When adults see students every week, they stop seeing them as scary,” Rachel laughs.

When she started at Flood, there were two volunteers for 14 youth, most of them pastors’ kids. Today, there are 22 volunteers of all ages and backgrounds. “You don’t have to be young and cool,” Rachel says. “What matters is a healthy relationship with Jesus and a desire to do life together.”

Parents as Partners

The cohort also shifted Rachel’s perspective on parents.

“I used to think partnering with parents meant running workshops or programs,” she says. “Now I see it as building authentic relationships, listening, and being present.”

Every Monday, she texts at least two parents to check in, seeing how she can pray for them and asking how the church can serve them.

One of those parents was Aiden’s mom.

From Basketball to Baptism

Aiden started coming to youth group because his friends, Lexi and Adeline, invited him—and because there was a basketball hoop. “My family doesn’t really have a religious belief,” he says. “I thought church would be boring. But I kept coming back for the food, the friends, and the feeling of belonging.”

Devon, a youth ministry volunteer, noticed him right away. She built trust with his family—enough that when she asked if Aiden could go to church camp, his mom said yes.

At camp, Aiden had powerful conversations with leaders. It was a turning point.

Afterward, he joined Alpha—a casual, discussion-based series designed to help people explore the basics of the Christian faith—where no question was off-limits and conversations about Jesus felt honest and real. There he wrestled with questions and began to see himself “not on the outside looking in, but as someone who interacts with Jesus.” Eventually, he decided to be baptized, sharing how Scripture had brought him peace during a hard season.

And the ripple effect? His younger brother Ryan started getting curious about Jesus. His whole family became engaged in the church community.

“That’s what happens when you invest in a young person and their family,” Rachel says. “It changes more than one life.”

Communion Together

Another change Rachel championed was around communion.

Before, the youth often took communion alone in the youth room. Rachel wanted them to share it with the whole congregation. Now, the first Sunday of every month, the entire church takes communion together—and Rachel often preaches that Sunday, weaving in the message that investing in the next generation is essential to the life of the church.

It’s another visible, tangible reminder: students aren’t an add-on to the church. They are the church.

The Power of Showing Up

Not every moment in youth ministry is big and dramatic. Rachel will tell you that much of discipleship looks ordinary—like Jaime, one of her long-term volunteers.

Jaime has been showing up for years, especially for the boys in the group. Sushi dinners. Homework help. Oreos at every camp (a tradition now). Nothing flashy—just consistent presence.

That consistency built deep trust. So when a teenager hit a critical moment, Jaime’s voice carried weight. He could speak truth and encouragement into the student’s life and be heard.

“One day,” Rachel says, “when these teens are asked who their youth pastor was, they’ll say Jaime. And I love that.”

When the Whole Church Champions Youth

The changes didn’t just transform the youth group—they reshaped Flood Church.

New families have joined the church because of youth ministry. The youth group is now more ethnically diverse than the church at large, moving Flood toward its vision of becoming a more diverse, intergenerational family. Adults regularly call teens by name, celebrate their wins, and walk alongside them in struggles.

Rachel believes this is the heartbeat of relational discipleship: proximity, presence, and shared life.

“You’re not having deep theological conversations every day,” she says. “It’s drinking boba tea, cheering them on at a soccer game, or sitting in the front row together. And when a crisis comes, the trust is there.”

A Renewed Leader

The Kickstart cohort that Rachel almost skipped didn’t just give her tools to lead differently—it renewed her passion for ministry.

She found a safe, encouraging space to process her challenges with peers who understood. The content affirmed her instincts, gave her language for what she was already sensing, and sparked ideas she could adapt for her church’s context.

In the same way relationships are key to helping young people develop a lasting faith, relationships are key to helping leaders last in ministry.

Making it Work for You

Rachel’s story is proof that small, intentional shifts can spark big transformation—both in students and in the whole church.

It starts with visibility. It grows with consistency. And it thrives when the whole congregation champions the next generation.

“Young people are essential to the ecosystem of the church,” Rachel says. “When they’re seen, valued, and discipled in relationship, everybody wins.”

For pastors and youth leaders, the invitation is simple:

Move your students into the center of church life.

Invite caring adults into their lives.

Partner with parents.

Be present.

Because when you commit to relational discipleship, you’re not just changing a youth ministry—you’re transforming an entire church family.